One of the dominant traits of wealthy and financially successful people is that they don’t care what others are doing, nor do they go out of their way to try and financially impress their friends and peers. If anything, their very success is often built on doing things with their heads down, nothing flashy, and a clear goal in mind.
Having said that, you just can’t shake that feeling that almost everyone around you is doing financially better than you. A better job? They’ve got it! Newer and more expensive cars? Lots of them, including the latest Tesla Cybertrucks, BMWs, Porsches, and other shiny cars you could spot from far away. Big houses? You bet, complete with big pools and patio decks, the latest furniture, and so much more. And we won’t even talk about travel and vacation, because they seem to spend more time on vacation than they do at home.
Sure, if it were just one or two of these items, you could chalk it up to something else. But when your friends are checking off every one of these boxes, then it must be that they are doing better than you, right? Well, not so fast. Let us go through it and see if it’s you or them, or maybe the financial truth lies somewhere in between.
1-Grass is always Greener!
What you see may not be the objective truth. Yes, your friends and peers do own the latest cars, do seem to flash their wealth, and are traveling the world, but that doesn’t objectively, and as a whole, mean their life is better than yours. For one, you have no idea how they are paying for these items and experiences. Is this all on debt, and it will all come due eventually? or are they simply saving money they have saved or inherited, instead of being more careful with it and investing it etc. It could also be psychological, where they are wasting their money on all these shiny objects and experiences to hide and distract from other areas in their life which is of emotional pain to them. In other words, they are using money to bury big problems in their life, including divorce, family issues, business failure, social pressures etc. Do you want to trade places if this was the case?
2-They may have Worked Hard for to Get here
Let us be honest, your friends may have worked hard to get to this stage and deserve every bit of it. For this, you should be inspired and curious, instead of being bitter and jealous. Learn from them and determine to do the same and even better. If your friend spent 5 years getting an advanced university degree and spent years after that learning to be a super software developer, then it is natural that companies will be luring him with a high salary and other benefits. Fully deserved. Now look at yourself: are you in a 9-5 job, and if so, are you working hard to stand out, move up and get to a salary that allows you to do well as your friends are?
3-They were Financially Wise
Picture this: for the last 10 years, and despite you and your circle of friends making very similar money, having similar expenses etc, there was one big difference: you prioritized spending over saving, while they did the opposite, often emphasizing saving and investing a big chunk of their money. And thanks to time and the power of compounding, their money multiplied exponentially, while yours not only stayed the same, you lost your purchasing power thanks to your no savings and even debt accumulation. Now, they have enough money saved to afford these things, in addition to regular passive income flowing in from their various investments.
Take the Good Lesson, Ditch the Rest
What can we learn here?
- Don’t fall for flashy objects
- You shouldn’t care what they do, nor should you be in competition with the Joneses
- Focus only on yourself and comparing you to yourself from yesterday, and last year
- If you can’t help it and are curious about those around you doing better, then learn from it and apply it in your life.
Whatever the reason your friends are—perceived or otherwise—doing better than you, it’s important to focus on what you can control and do, regardless of how they got their money and how they choose to spend it.